A year ago today my dad Sonny passed… I received a phone call from my dad’s first cousin that my dad didn’t it make through surgery and was being kept alive by breathing machines… He asked if I wanted to FaceTime so that I could see my dad and say my goodbyes since I would not make it to Vegas in time and they were ready to take him off the breathing machines and let him go…
So as I watched a shell of my father laying in the hospital bed hooked to tubes, I didn’t say goodbye I just told him that I was ok, that I loved him and that he can rest now… I was his baby girl… I felt and swear I saw him nod and take one last deep breath…I hung up the video call and a gust of wind flew through my house from the open front door through the open back door…For the rest of that day until I flew out to Vegas from NC, black crows surrounded my house and yard.
“The crow is a spirit animal associated with life mysteries and magic. The power of this bird as totem and spirit guide is provide insight and means of supporting intentions. Sign of luck, it is also associated with the archetype of the trickster; be aware of deceiving appearances. If the crow has chosen you as your spirit or totem animal, it supports you in developing the power of sight, transformation, and connection with life’s magic.” – Elena Harris
Since my dad’s transition I have been doing all of the things he loved himself and loved from me…traveling (in his van), taking hundreds of pictures everywhere I go (he was a photographer), writing this blog (he loved my writing and poetry), and art (he always thought I would be an artist). The beginning of this journey was prompted by the energy I received from his transition…the energy to go and live….
This month is also my birthday month so I decided not to turn this month into something sad due to my dad’s transition and to add that fathers day is in June too. I decided to celebrate every day doing something that brings me joy! You can track how I have been celebrating and join in on the IG challenge yourself to receive a love gift from me at the end of the month! #June30DaysofJoy
The Power of Nature
I am sure you have heard about the benefits of exercise to prevent and reduce stress, anxiety, and depression…well being in nature whether it’s to exercise, work, or relax is one of the best ways to rejuvenate the mind, body, and spirit. Since I have been in Oregon I have been balancing work and play, while still adding in some exploration and travel. Every weekend my family and I have explored different lakes and mountains for crystals, succulents, and to just be in the mist of waterfalls!
I was explaining to my son Young Lion at one point where we reached the waterfall, that water has the power to burst through mountains, smooth over the roughest stones, provide nourishment for a whole ecosystem, and reflect the skies and the earth! He understood as he looked around in awe of it’s magnificence. Then I told him to listen and feel the energy of the water…the power… the emotion…the release!
I am reminded of how our tears can have that same effect on us and others. When we are grieving the loss can seem to leave a hole so gaping that nothing can seem to fill it…so we cry filling up the void and becoming so overwhelmed we feel as if we are drowning-OR- we don’t cry and can feel the tension of the damn of tears swelling up so painfully inside of us hoping that the pain distracts from the hurt of the loss… but once we allow the emotion to be felt and experienced we can use that energy to move through grief and beyond it…only when we have found a purpose to live on…
Every time something “bad” happens in my life the only way I can move forward is to find purpose in the “bad”. Some things are never resolved after the death of someone but how can we find ways to use that loss as energy to nourish something in our own lives?
“Energy cannot be created or destroyed it can be transformed from one form to the other…”
Different cultures have different rituals for the same process of transferring energy from the body or life of the “dead” person and guiding it to another form. In finding purpose through our grief we are simply transferring that seemingly negative loss into a positive motivating force and gain. I used my own dad’s transition to motivate me to travel, to further pursue my arts, and in my efforts to help people live healthy conscious lives.
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Energy is transferred it can never be destroyed
it simply transforms to fill up the void
to continue a lesson, a journey, a test,
to explore a new experience
energy can only be at rest
it can take and it can give
it can be felt as though it lives
through a purpose and a life
that is willing to sacrifice
for the sake of all humanity
to transfer that energy
with love and humility
for love is forever in abundance….
(In loving memory of my dad Sonny)
Be Love & Live Truth!